Since I was a little girl - I loved makeup. I remember buying my first lipstick - it was the brightest pink I could find in the store-my grandma said no when I asked her to buy it, but luckily my mom handed me the $5 bill and I went home ecstatic. From then on it was my canvas for playing and expressing myself. As a teen and 20 year old, I found myself loving makeup and enjoying it -it gave me a way to brighten my mood when I felt sad, feel sexy and confident, or prepare myself for a long day. Makeup brought me joy.
And then suddenly in my 30’s I thought it wasn’t allowed to wear glitter and my bright pink lipstick. I stuck to mom jeans and put my eyeshadow away - I still remember putting away “Urban Cowboy” by Urban Decay - it was a VERY glittery gold shade of eyeshadow. A few years later, I bought “Urban Cowboy Rides again” the same shade but with EVEN more glitter. My husband was deployed that year, and he had family take me to sephora to cheer me up. But the makeup hide out in my drawer for years thinking it wasn’t “mom material.”
My idea about makeup after having a baby was -makeup took too long and I thought everyone would be expecting me to fit some “mom mold.”
And one day I woke up and said, “I am so done worrying about what everyone thinks.” Or what I thought they’d think because I have found the greatest support in starting to express myself again. And if there were any naysayers, they aren’t the ones who would be cheering me on, supporting me, loving me to do anything that makes me happy…..to include wearing Urban Cowboy Rides Again to anything I please. :)
Finally there is a quote that reminds me of how I felt when I discovered new ways of expressing myself again - Finding me - not just as “mom” but rediscovering that I could be all the things at once. I could be a great mom and still find the time to put a little sparkle in my day. And like Elsa, I could let all that go, things that in reality no one was really thinking.
I will leave you with a quote by Walt Whitman that I got in a cup of tea today in one of those Celestial Seasoning Tea tags,
“Re-examine all you have been told. . .Dismiss what insults your soul.” -Walt Whitman
And wear that glitter if it makes you happy.
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